Missing?

Yeah, what do i mean by missing?
There are many things that come up when this word is mentioned.
In particular, this is about me.
I don't know how to figure this out, or how to make it go away.

For all i know is that something or someone or even the abstract of things (emotions and moods) is missing.
Somewhere in the line of life, i have made decisions, choices that determine any number of possible outcomes.
I can say that my decisions were made after a great deal of calculation, but mixed up with emotions.
I am not proud of my decisions, i won't say it was for the best, but all i can do is be grateful that they have brought me here, this moment, alive and still in one piece. As for those decisions that have cost me so much, i can't stand the thought of doing things the other way, taking the path which might have lead to a better future.
I am truly sorry to all those whom i have affected due to my bad decision-making, and if it does you any justice, i don't feel all to good myself, and i hope that i can make it up to whomever that i have crossed.

The thing about these outcomes is similar to a trip. You go with what you have packed, and you come back with either have something extra, or something left behind. That is precisely what i am experiencing now.
I dived into these moments, and have come back with perspectives anew, connections, and maybe new friends, but some things, things that i hold dear, i have left behind with no intention of doing so.
The worst thing is that i don't remember. I am not caught up with anything, i am not that busy to be forgetful.
I just don't remember. All those memories that have once eased the core of my human soul are dissipating, one by one being forgotten. I don't know why. And new feelings come up to the surface, ripping my mind into shreds, forcing their way through to dominate what's left of my old self. Am i a changed person? Am i still the same? I can't tell. I can't remember. I just hope that there is still room for a good side of me, one of which i love the most. One of which she loved the most.

All my rants have come up to one summary. A lost and found case, only what was found isn't what was lost, and what was lost remains a memory.

"to all good things comes an end"

Anyway, I would like to forward my condolences to my friend and coursemate and also statemate, Lorenzo, for the passing of his late grandfather. I am very sorry for your loss, but as God has made us all, he will take us back. Just be eased by the promise of Christ that he who has burdened, he shall be given rest. Take care Lo and be strong, we need you to take this crappy semester down. Cheer up :)

Highhh

Doing all my stuff with an all-time high
So high i can't remember why
The reason i chose to get high
So high i can fly
Hahaha

Despicable Me.

Kelas tak pergi. Assignment tak buat. Janji tak dikotakan.
Memang despicable la.

boom boooom

1st time clubbing. Ingat enjoy... In the end, dapat headache with a scale of 9 on the Ritcher scale..
Not a clubber i guess. Haha, though i like to put music loud in my own room.
Drinking would be a much better choice, and it might be much more enjoyable.
Damn, clubs would be off my to-go-to list when i'm rich enough.
Oh well,

So don't knock it, don't knock it, you've been here before..

...

given a chance
i wanna be somebody
 
if for one dance
i wanna be somebody
 
open the door
it's gonna make you love me
 
facing the floor
i wanna be somebody

Shut Eye

Come on, sleep. You need it. Enough playing games, enough watching crap, enough.
I just can't sleep. Is it my fault?
Of course it is. What's that sound?
Huh? What sound?
You don't hear it?
No, i don't! Tell me what it is!
Its the sound of people sleeping. Why aren't you doing the same?
I can be different if i want to you know. Frankly i do wanna sleep.
Then what's the problem?
Its just that i have trouble sleeping when i think about stuff ya' know.
Stop thinking then, if that's the problem. Lay down, close your eyes and picture tomorrow.
That's thinking too smart-ass.
Well, just lay down and be blank.
Easy for you to say, you're just saying it, you're not doing it.
Okay, i will show you.
Go ahead then. Teach me oh master of sleeping.
....
....
....
I'm not learning anything.
...
...
...
Nothing, just watching you lay down and doing nothing.
..
..
..
Which part of this is suppose to help me sleep?
.
.
.
Zzzzzzz~

Weekenders.

Yeah the weekend is here!

Punya penat this week. Can die man. Just literally la.
Everyday wake up at 7am, but choose to skip class and go to the next one at 10.
Piled up assignments berkat procrastination. Haha.
Oh well, standard ba tu. At least i got it all done before the weekend, thanks to Lo for sending a copy to plagiarize. Thank you sooooo much!
But the coming weekend is gonna hurt, coz got montage meeting, which is something i have never done for all my life in this campus. Buat saja bha, yg penting siap, suma happy, beres.
Got test on Monday, have to study during the weekend, spoil la man.
Come on! Weekends are supposed to be free time! Haha, weekends are surely overrated.
I am waiting for a chance to have fun, yeah, fun fun fun.
But this is the part of the semester where things get hectic, and i am a newbie in being a workaholic. Not that i am being one now, but its gonna happen coz there is so much to do!
 

It pretty much sums it all doesn't it *wink*