U know what i think?

O.O

I don't really care about what people use their blogs for, but the income they get(if they make it a business) is quite tempting.
As for me, i treat this blog as a trash can. A place to dump all my stuff that i can't tell other people or stuff that would just burden their minds if they were to try and rationalize and then conjure up a neat conclusion, in addition to a whole new set of advices which keep ringing the same tone as ones i heard before.

Current mode = I don't know what to do(besides the obvious -> studying), And I'm caught up in stuff i don't even remember getting into, or even worse, i don't know what they are.
So here i am, dumping my rubbish, on my blog... For my poor readers to read(if there were any, hopefully none cause' it makes me look pathetic ha-ha).
Jammed with thoughts, desires, and regrets, it is hard to focus and get things right. Thankfully, I've got my own type of cigarettes to deal with this. A pack full of DotA and on-and-off futsal games which wears me out physically, allowing me to forget my mental disturbances.

I just wished, for once, i would get my original drive back. The one that got me started on this path. Without a drive, this keeps feeling like a job that has to be done for the sake of doing it. The process becomes impossible to enjoy, the results fail to satisfy not only the person assessing it, but also the person doing the job. If i could sleep now, and wake up knowing that i have something to do, and my soul filled with passion in doing it, life in campus would be so much more lively. Instead, I'm stuck finding stuff to do to cover-up the boredom.

The more this feeling of emptiness remains, i am fearing that even the drama's using foreign languages will not be enough to suffice for my lack of activities. I know this can't continue, it would be very dangerous to my pointer, but what can i do? What is there to do when the root of the problem is not known? Or maybe the problem is known, but there ain't nothing in the world that you/I can do to solve it?

There you go. Tonight's rant about what i think about whatever that is on my mind but not a single focused theme. Or maybe the theme is myself? Who knows.